There’s nothing and nobody like your own family.
It is a great treasure to have people you can count on, rain or shine, day or night. Seasons change, but family remains. Besides friends you are glad to meet in life, the family makes you happy and comfortable even in dark and rough journeys. They constantly remind you how life is to be lived with joy and love.
Not all families are the same though. Some are entirely close and attached to relationships within their kin, like they would not want to wish for anyone else’s presence because their family is more than enough. Their pride is their family.
On the other hand, there are families who experience problems and misunderstandings which are sometimes small and easy to fix but sometimes big and hard to mend. One of the problems or the roots of them is having harmful gossip spreading in the family and by the family.
It is quite sad to discover this, yet many members of some families themselves are the initiators and spreaders of negative stories about other relatives. These stories can be rumors that are yet to be proven or truths that some people just like talking about when they are bored or as an unlikeable hobby. This is unhealthy and damaging to the family because it has long-term effects that can taint relationships and lives.
Here are 5 unwanted things caused by harmful gossip within the family.
1 – AWKWARDNESS
The existence of known family gossip can create an awkward atmosphere whenever there are family meetings and gatherings or simply when you bump into each other in the mall.
Imagine sitting on the reunion dining table beside the cousins who talk behind your back about you and your sensitive problem at work. Unless you are very very very kind and unless your relationship is actually tougher than the disappointment you feel towards them, you won’t have a burden about greeting them comfortably.
Meanwhile, in the perspective of busybodies, some of them feel awkward to even smile at a relative whom they secretly found out to be an adoptive parent. There’s nothing bad at being an adoptive parent, but some people look at adoption in a discriminating way.
Hearsays contaminate untroubled relationships. If they are too weighty, they cause family members to eventually drift apart from each other.
2 – BUILDING JUDGEMENTAL CIRCLES
It’s heartbreaking, but gossip in the family builds judgemental circles. Because oftentimes, fresh rumors are negative and unconfirmed, people tend to assume and add their own thoughts to the stories they hear of and talk about.
Sadly, there are times when some people judge their family members based on what they discover and discuss about them. They tend to misinterpret these people’s lives without knowing the complete accounts of the stories they talk about when they don’t even have to talk about them.
3 – BACKSTABBING
Many tittle-tattles happen behind the back of those who are on the news’ subjects. This leads to backstabbing being the “foundation” of the action. It is inappropriate because it is caused and it causes insincerity from the gossipmongers. It’s sad for the poor preys of the family gossip who don’t even realize that some relatives are biting their backs.
4 – DIVISIONS IN THE FAMILY
The family must be united, but problems like these unhealthy chatters can cause divisions.
As these issues may sometimes involve not only one but more members of the clan, there could be times when people are taking sides and feeling upset towards others even when they themselves are not directly part of the buzz.
Even innocent members of the kin are left with no choice but to distance or get separated from other relatives because of harmful gossip around. It could be their own decision to not maximize issues or their own awkwardness towards loved ones involved.
5 – GRAVE LEGAL MATTERS
Some family members victimized by defamation caused by malicious gossip resort to lawsuit charges filed against their relatives who are their very own offenders.
This is common when information that puts one’s reputation, career and other family members in danger is spread to damage a certain family member’s personal life. The victim talks to their lawyers to work on legal charges they can cite against their transgressor. This is important, so the deleterious effects of the bad rumors will no longer widen and so the culprit will be put to a stop.
It is sometimes unbelievable and only seen in dramas, yet it is true that due to reasons like jealousy and business rivalries, some relatives make up false news that turn into gossip to cripple a blood-related person’s life.
In case you are a victim or you get victimized by the same in the future, know that you can seek the guidance of your lawyer to assist in legal matters you will want and need to manage before things get worse.
The world can be a better place when the people become better too. The family is the basic unit of society. It is important that it is pleasant in every way possible.
Family gossip may seem harmless, but it can ruin a lot of aspects of the family’s state, especially when it is tolerated and when negative emotions and motives go along with it. There may be different effects depending on the matter and degree and on the reception of the ones targeted by the hearsays, but nonetheless, harmful gossip within the family definitely distorts good family ties.
When you notice that this seems to be a problem in your family, be wise enough to not contribute to the heightening of this issue. If there are times when you, as a family, talk about other relatives’ lives, make sure that the subjects are about positive things! When other family members open up and share their confidential problem only with you, respect their trust by not telling it to anyone else. Call out loved ones who seem to be negatively meddling with other family member’s lives through gossipping about them.
Keep a healthier family life by keeping healthy and agreeable conversations within the household. In that way, everyone can live happier as individuals and as a family.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Nicole Ann Pore is a writer, an events host and a voice over artist. Quality and well-researched writing is her worthwhile avenue to enlighten and delight others about things that matter. She is a daytime writer for Adams Lawyers, a team of professionals that offer well-rounded service for all legal needs. Nicole graduated Cum Laude from De La Salle University Manila, Philippines with a Bachelor’s Degree in Communication Arts.